To your reception..which colour???

To your wedding..which colour???

and what do you ladies think of wearing a white wedding gown when my hubby and I walk in first to the reception. But change later on into my sari???
My MIL thinks it'll look lovely my moms a little iffy. How about you ladies?? Any of you wore a wedding gown or thinking of it? Reaction from the guests?

everyone has their own ways how they want their wedding. i guess some people don't like the idea of changing twice. oh well!!! in the end i'll be the one changing not you.

I am pretty short 5'2 ....thanks for the advice!! 

I've never been to a reception where someone changes twice but I've heard often enough that a lot of girls do it. I don't see the big deal it'll be my wedding...ahaha.

I personally think changing into different clothes throughout the night is ridiculous. I personally would try finding a indian dress that has both a traditional indian and western look to it, instead of posing in something different every few hours throughout the night.

I wouldn't want to change into a sari during the night just because I wouldn't want to blend in with the rest of the crowd since 80% of the ladies will be wearing saris too.

I respect your opinion don't worry we all have our own opinions.
Hmmm you do bring up a good point about a lot of girls wearing saris.

I've bought so many outfits for the reception. First I got something sent from india it was sooo pretty but i decided to wear it to my ladies party and engagement. THen we bought something but it had a stain on it so we returned it. NOw I finally bought a lovely very very very very heavy sari. But I can always change things up. So what's different that a lot of girls won't be wearing??

and how much jewllery the bride wears and all the bhanga you can tell that it's the bride.....
Or does everyone else look all the same and steal the thunder.

Get some anger-management classes before you marry and move that attitude into someone else's home.

soon2be: congrats sister! I hope you are feeling OK, weddings are stressful enough so make sure you take out some time to relax. Dont' want anything to happen to the baby.

While guests do wear saris to the parties, I think the number is far less than 80%. Also, most of those saris are not going to be the super heavy expensive ones, so there's little chance you will blend in. My in-laws have many relatives that live in Dehli and Bombay and mil was saying that the trend in India now is to change outfits midway thru the party. I don't know if it's only done in certain parts of the country or what but it is happening. Bollywood actresses wear more than 1 too so you could be the pioneer here in Vancouver!

It won't look weird and if you are lucky enough to find 2 fabulous outfits, then why not wear them both? It will look awesome! Even with your height you can find some really nice gowns, you could wear it for the entrance and all the prelims before the dancing starts, and then change into the heavy sari you described. As for talking/gossiping, girl you know that's going to happen anyway. I went to an engagement last weekend and sat next to a bunch of busybodies who yapped all night about how the couple "firthay see" for a few years before the engagement, and how white he is and how dark she is and he should have married someone prettier. yap yap yap...those who are not happy with their own lives talk about others.

I actually have to agree with HardeepB on this one. U only have about 5 hours to enjoy the reception party and if u're 2 busy changing suits all night u will miss out on alot & not to mention that u will have to wear neutral makeup colors if u wear more than one suit (unless u have a makeup artist on the spot).

You are all a bunch of old budia who have no doubt been trained well by their mothers on how to keep your noses into other people's lives and you do it well. Most of my brown friends only date or want to marry non-Indian chicks and I'm the only one in the group who did but my lady stands heads above all of you. The more ridulous ones are the geeks who talk about being in Medicine or Law and then going off after reading someone's post! Try talking like that to someone's face, yea rite you would!

"Jasgill, I think u need to mind your own business because what she said was completely right."

Yea, that's a sign of a mature individual. typical dipper who thinks her way or the highway. I couldn't care less if you don't reply to me, you sound so demented by that one sentence and it speaks volumes about the lovely attitude your in-laws will surely witness. Oh, yea, I forgot your from a 'popular and political' family! Sorry, those 2 don't go together in the Lower Mainland in the dipper community. When your mil says something you don't agree with, try saying that line to her!

I think that a sharara would like look really nice. If you choose a nice pastel shade, it would look so sweet and pretty.

I went to this one reception where the bride had a gotten a white gown design made and instead of it being white or cream, she had it made peach...complete with a train (sp). It was a really light peach and it looked very fairytale-like. No one else was wearing anything close to it so she really stood out.

My bhabi did it and it didn't take her that long to change. She had walked in with a gown on and changed into lengha after the first dance. When they went to do the meet and greet once everyone else started to dance, she quickly changed into a lengha.

The key is to co-ordinate you colours if you are worried about time. Nothing is impossible...it just takes a bit of consideration.

I would love some info on places in India where you can get clothes sewn and embroidered similar to a picture that you may have as an idea. Theres a thread on the top of this forum somewhere about shopping on India but alot of people are really vague. So if you have any suggestions do you mind sending them my way?

However, on that same note, if you had a light pink sari with very heavy silver embroidery at the reception, that would totally knock your man's eyes out and you know we all want that! Sorry, but I am no help, I just love the pastel shades and I like things outfits that aren't very "Christmas tree", know what I mean?

I am going to do some searches for you for some more sites, check those out and get some ideas from there. Have you seen Sunny's Bridal site? Also, check out frontierclothhouse.com

I know there are many tailors in India who could do it for you. I remember a friend who went to India a couple of years ago and she found pics of outfits by Ritu Kumar(www.ritukumar.com) and a tailor copied them for her. He also did stuff found at Benzer. If you didn't know, Ritu is very famous in India and she designs the outfits worn by Miss India at the international pageants. Her stuff is very nice and I think the tailor is in Dehli.

I found a site for you:www.delhi-india.net/shopping/

Pink sounds beautiful, I wore light pink to my wedding in the morning. I preferred it because my bridesmaids wore a dark color, so it wouldn;t have looked good if i wore something dark. Also, I'm fair skinned so the light color looked nicer in the summer!

I was going to suggest you take a look at sila.com

She has these amazing sharara/lenghas in the bridal section.They are different. And if you could get one made in shades of pink it would be something truly different.

Good Luck!

You are amazing! I cant believe you went to all that trouble for me! I cant thank you enough. I had actually done a google search for indian bridal clothes and I didnt really find anything that was just amazing.. well for me anyway. Ive seen Bargello before and I have to say I frikkin love that site!

Thank you so much for links to these new sites.. I appreciate your efforts so much! So sweet and you dont even know me!! *hug* My mom and I will be going to India, just dont know when yet but Ill definitely be on the lookout for great places in Delhi. Im going to be checking out Jallandhar and my mom's friends town, Sangrur (apparently they have wicked clothes unstitched and stitched there) If your SIL can remember the tailor I would really appreciate the name but no big rush.. like I said we dont even know when well go to India, wedding will most likely be a year or two from now.

Wow, btw, I didnt know that you had kids! how old are they? How long have you been married?

www.kaneesha.com They have a section that shows different ways to tie a sari, I found out that I am the Air India Flight Hostess!

www.maximstyles.com

www.redbridal.com

www.indusfashions.com

Another idea is to look thru magazines like InStyle and the tabloids the weeks after any major awards show as they will be covering who wore what and you might find something to inspire you in terms of outfit, makeup and hairstyle. Ex.: Star, Us Weekly...etc would be packed with all the fashions from the Academy Awards last weekend. Beyonce wore this gold strapless gown at the Grammys and her hair looked amazing too, she wore these diamond and ruby(I think) chandelier earings and the whole ensemble has a bit of an "Indian" feel to it. I just fell in love with her gown. Plus, her being darker skinned sort of showed how we brown girls would look in it!

Shopping in India will be great, you are bound to find your dream dress in the Motherland. My mil was saying that Jallandhar has great shops, even better than Ludhiana and you might not even have to go to Dehli to find something. I will get some names of some tailors for you, my sil's entire family is in India for her brother's wedding and they are fanatics about shoppping so I am sure they will have some ideas that I will pass onto you.

I am married with 2 kids, a girl(6) and a boy(4) and #3 on the way in August. It is great to be a mom and the only event that is more exciting to plan than a wedding is the arrival of your child. A lot of work but major fullfillment and I also believe that the term "love at first sight" was invented by a mother upon seeing her newborn. The first time you lay eyes on your baby, you will kill for him/her and die for him/her, there isn't a man alive that could possibly evoke those feelings in a woman the first time she sees him. That isn't to say that you love the father any less but your protective instincts aren't there the same way, one day you will know what I mean.

Actually, during my labor I wanted to kill my husband, it was his fault I was in that predicament! One day uou might also know that feeling!!

Take care.

Oh my goodness, I totally dont mind that you passed on the idea of the sharara/punjabi suit to your sis. lol, its not like I have a lease on it or something. Im so not that type of person to get all pissy over something like that. Plus its not like we have a huge choice in styles of clothing to wear to the Gurdwara because we have to wear something thats easy to find and of course respectful, so you end up either wearing a lengha, sherara or suit anyway. No biggie Besides I wouldnt have shared my ideas on here if it were a biggie!

Congrats on the little one on the way! You are a very lucky woman, Ive always said if I have kids I would want a boy and a girl or two boys and a girl so my daughter would be the princess. Im still undecided on having kids though. Im 25 turning 26 in a few months and the thought of kids before 35 scares me because Im so independant but at the same time I would want to have them while Im still young so at least I can relate to them on some level.

I can somewhat understand what you mean about the way you feel about your children and how you put them above all, my youngest brother was born when I was 16 and even though I didnt go through carrying him for 9 months or giving birth to him, I feel the same way about him. I used to keep him with me so my mom could rest (shed had a C-section that had gotten infected) and he used to sleep in my bed pretty much most the first year after being born, Id get up in the middle of the night to feed him, etc. I would kill for him if I had to as well.

It is my cousin who opted for the sharara, my sister has decided she is going to wear a suit but we will see what she comes up with next month! Now I have to ask you, with a suit and sharara, should the jewelry be kept more simple or elaborate? Both have chosen just a necklace, earings, and churia but don't want the nath and the rest. Do you think that is too simple? Am I out of the loop here, is the simple look in?!!? In the Western mags, they say elaborate is back with a bang.

What kind of choora are you wearing? I know some girls are traditional and keep the same one on for the 40 days or whatever but many brides change the colors from the wedding to the reception. All the major things are booked and it's the small details left but that's what drives you the craziest!

I admire you honesty about kids, that is refreshing. All I can say is WAIT! If you truly value you independece and freedom, then enjoy your life now because it will change big time when that baby comes, trust me on that. My husband and I travelled so much before we had kids and went out to eat and attended concerts but since we had our kids, it has been a total and complete change. Not that I mind, I love kids and am so thankful for them in my life but things are different. We have taken small trips to the Island and Whistler and took the kids to Disneyland last year but now that I am expecting the 3rd, we won't be able to get out that much for another couple of years.

Waiting until 35 is no big deal nowadays, I know of so many who wait until they are in their 30's before they have their first kid and they have no regrets about loss of freedom. Apne women will on your case 9 months after the wedding so be warned. I just loved the aunties who would tell me of great doctors who could help my "infertility" problems and could not understand that is was our decision to not have kids yet.

I do not have names picked out and I am kind of hoping for a boy because my daughter has her dad wrapped around her little finger and would not be pleased about being dethroned. But my best friend has 2 girls and a boy and she loves the fact that her girls will have that special sister bond, and knowing how I feel about my sisters, I can certainly understand that. It's so ironic that in a culture that values boys so much, it's the women who hold the families together, my mom always says that everyone should have a daughter born first, it will be like having another mother for all the younger siblings. I don't know if that's the case in every family but it sure was like that in mine.

Anyways, thanks for all your help!

There are too many girls on this forum that are too concerned with what others are doing or how they are being percieved. Who cares if some chick you dont even know nor will you ever meet has some snarky ass comment put your way? Is it really worth all the trouble of getting worked up over it trying to defend yourself when you know the other person doesnt really give a damn? She or he for that matter, is just going to come back at you with something ridiculous to say. So why give them the opportunity? Turn the other cheek. If you ignore that person you wont give them the fuel to come at you over and over again. If you retort back at them, even though you think your comments are above the ones they have been saying to you, you just prove to everyone else you are exactly like them.

We dont come on here to deal with this type of BS, its not like we dont deal with enough of it in real life. So ladies learn to just chill out and repeat the mantra of "Sticks and Stones"

I am a huge believer in sisterhood. I believe that women should do their utmost to get along with one another and if you cant then just be civil with the people you really dont like. I see way too many apni girls who have an attitude when you meet them or if you pass one you dont know in a mall, school, where ever and you smile at them they wont even smile back! They act very snobby and will ignore you unless you make an effort to be social. If you are nice to them then they seem to get over the hump of being shy/snobby/ackward whatever the case is. Then again there are girls who after all this still will just flat out ignore you.

So for accesorizing with the outfits I really have to say it would depend on the embroidery. Ive seen in some indian bridal magazines a trend seems to be having a crazy heavy lengha and then the choli is plain except for a little border around the arms and the bottom (waist). If youre wearing a top like that then you can wear a really heavy set. If your top is pretty decked out you can still do a heavy set but you can get away with wearing a lighter one too.

I think it depends on personal taste. I for instance love the look of the nath so I could never do without that but some girls dont suit it or arent comfy being decorated up like an xmas tree. So as long as you coordinate the right jewellery with your outfit theres no reason why you cant do with little or more. Some people like the simple look and for others its like "well Im only going to do this once so might as well go all out"

Im going to go with matching choora for both outfits. And then when the wedding is all done and over with Ill keep a few on on each wrist for a while.

I love kids so much but at the same time I value my freedom, being able to pick up and just do whatever. Some people say Im selfish for thinking like that! Im actually glad I am the only daughter. I also to this day have my dad wrapped around my little finger and it rocks! I wouldnt want to share that attention or my toy, clothes and belongings for that matter with a sister. Ive seen how my cousins who are 3 sisters howl at each other because of things borrowed without permission, etc. They love each other dearly but they know how to push each others buttons too!! You should arrange for a babysitter from time to time so you can go out with your hubby and just enjoy yourselves! Dont even get me started on Apni ladies and their "advice" on fertility matters. God.

Before I forget, here are some sites I found, don't know if you have seen them already:

www.dmi-india.com

www.seasonsindia.com I love this site, the clothes are like bargelloshop and makes me want to get married all over again. Or at least get an entire bari! I think every woman should be allowed that much at least every 5 years, we do enough to keep everyone around us happy don't we?

I can't remember if you had asked the question about putting a program in a wedding card but I've got a link for you:

http://www.sikhweddingcard.com/program_card/p1.htm

My sister and cousin are going to go with this idea which will be helpful to not only the White guests but also to the younger brown crowd who attends weddings but has no idea of what means what.